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Tuesday, December 16, 2008 @ 9:15 PM
 boo hoo. i'm frigging tired/angry/going crazy. i need to rant, NOW. this is not the frigging FIRST TIME! haha. i can hardly trust you now. you'll never know how it frigging feel like. i must be wonder woman, cause i frigging locked all this anger up for dont know how many frigging times! 我失去了安全感. there is no more warm and safe feeling. instead, i felt terror and coldness. i'm at my limits. i hate it. i HATE this feelings. i think i'm running a fever. fucktard. i feel kind of stupid. half the time of the total sms-ing time we have is actually quarreling, emoing, you not telling me things and all those dots. every time i do something stupid, you'll never know. you never actually understand me. i've endured scoldings and sleepless nights. i didnt know cause i didnt tell you. i've argued with my father because of you. yes, i said i didnt mind, but i mind now. i feel stupid, because my father cares alot for me. he can actually neglect his sleep and went all the way to camp to fetch me home. i cried on the way home, because i felt so bad. i felt so bad to actually argue with him. i decided to end all this. i'm sorry. you've done this time and again. than again, there are doubts about the feelings already. and next year is a hard year and i cant afford to fail any of my subjects. you can say i'm the bad person here. but i know i'm not. i'm frigging angry with all this things. it's the end. i'll return every thing to you next year. everything. |
